April 09th, 2020

The circle spreads thin
As I stare at the ceiling
Awake asleep no difference
I wither away in this traitorous frame
While guilt chastises my feelings
No crying will fix the pain of my empty house
Once filled with laughter, now gone to the next place
Where people can dance and
Death is for the others
Those hidden away to spare the rest from
Feelings of being smothered
by need and weakness
But never again tears
No more tears for this pillow
No fears for faces that smile too brightly
Sorry my vibes aren't pale blue enough
To keep up with the blessed tribes
Of gazelles sweating through self imposed challenges
While mine fall from the sky to drown out my light
I lie in darkness and await the warmth
Of companionship
As it slithers beyond me the tears finally fall
Unwelcome and scorned
I viciously wipe them away
Deep inside where no one bothers to look
They know what is there
Who why when and where
Yet each hug is quick
A favor for the poor wretched
As they traipse away
I lie and stay
Staring up into my ceiling.